It is subtle. You recognize it sometimes, maybe not on a daily basis, but every other day. The way you reacted; or did not react to a situation, in the way you suddenly felt so aware and alive on a mundane Sunday. Gradually you start growing more and more aware of it. Sometimes it’s only for a couple of minutes, other times it sustains for a longer period; such that you cannot contain it and every now and then a smile breaks in on your face.
How do you let the world know this? While trying to pay attention to your boss’s speech in the board meeting; teaching maths formulas to a class full of students or walking in the market street? How do you explain this joy within, this aliveness that takes over without any sign and knows no bounds? You see it more often now. It becomes a pattern. Slowly these moments become longer and more frequent. In those periods of heightened levels of perception and calmness; you know that you are doing everything with pure awareness.
It is not as if the outside life situations don’t try to influence and test you anymore. They leave their mark on you like they always did in the past. But now the mark seems to be of a lighter shade and seems to fade sooner than you could register that something tried to touch you. Yet many other times the reactions and the disturbances directed at you by the world seem to be slipping away like oil on water. Not dissolving with your essence anymore. It is as if you are breathing a different air, a fresher, richer and a cleaner air.
This is how it starts; the beginning. Something so new and inexplicable that you hesitate to share it. Lest no one around you may understand it. And so it begins, the journey within, and the change that is visible for all to see. It may take weeks, it may take months, and it may even take years for you to really weigh how much the outside has now come to depend on the change you brought within and not vice versa anymore.
All of it possible in each one of us. If only we would notice it when it first awakens within us, catches us off-guard, maybe for a few seconds; in the way we reacted; or did not react to a situation, in the way we suddenly felt so aware and alive on a mundane Sunday..
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett